Monday, September 6, 2010

Lost In Space


Today I was chatting to a friend. We were talking about not being able to identify with any particular role in life. I said it was like floating in outer space, in a space suit that has a line attached to a space ship. We are floating around out there, not doing or being anyone in particular; feeling kind of free but a bit lost and confused sometimes; feeling lighter and more spacious than everyone else in the space ship. We can see the people in the space ship, they are busy doing their stuff or 'important' roles in life; they are looking towards us every now and then, waving at us and feeling sorry for us floating around out there! I must admit we were laughing and laughing just at the imagery of it all.

This analogy is about moving away from the 'grid' so to speak. Not fitting into the mold, not identifying with any particular role that we were conditioned to fit into. For many years I thought life went a particular way. Grew up, got married, had kids, lived happy ever after....... well not to be for me! First part yeah that was great, then the cracks started to appear, I was able to fool myself that I was on the road to 'happy ever after' when I gave birth to my adorable children and just loved the role of mother. So I got divorced and then I started to seek the 'happy ever after' in numerous other ways, a new man - wrong; business - wrong; sell the house and invest - wrong; more business ideas - wrong; maybe something creative - wrong!!!! How many 'wrong' decisions can a girl make!

After a decade or so insights started to appear, 'aha' moments were the most significant things in my life! Now I am totally at peace with 'being busy doing nothing'. I thought I needed to be something or someone, I thought my only significance was in what I have and do. Well when none of that got me anywhere I started to question what I wanted from identifying with a role. I wanted to be valued, to feel worthy, the security that came from having, I wanted to be respected, loved, noticed; again the list goes on. Then I started to pay attention to those that had, did and were something or someone, they didn't seem much happier than me! They were still chasing something to identify with or someone to make them happy. I realised the significance I was seeking was fleeting, it wasn't long before one had to seek something to be significant through, over and over and over!

After a lot of soul searching I now realise if I sit still for a moment, feel the sensations in my body, look out the window at the sky, trees and birds being, this is a reflection of my own significance. Without the sky, air, trees, birds etc. I wouldn't exist, then if I didn't exists I wouldn't be able to look at the birds, sky, air etc. and I wouldn't notice their significance. Yes all very cosmic but if you sit still and allow the moment to be as it is, you will realise that nothing has to happen for 'what is' to be of value; to be something so beautiful and amazing. The fact that it all exists is significant enough for me to be content with not really knowing who I am anymore. Not needing to identify with a world that mostly looks like it has gone insane. Not needing to achieve anything in life other than appreciating the smell of a flower, seeing the beauty of a sunset, feeling the drops on my face of the first rain of summer.

I am not denying the creative prompts or a desire to experience oneself in life through something, that is great, that is the call of 'Source' as Abraham/Hicks would say. It is when we are seeking an identity through what is outside of ourselves that we can come unstuck; lose confidence in who we are; when that creative prompt stops for a while and we diminish our self worth in the eyes of the world. When we stop getting the buzz from the process and start needing the acknowledgment through achievement. That is when we have lost sight of our true purpose in life.

For me the true purpose of life is to live in joy, no matter what I am doing, being or having. To celebrate the fact that I exist on this beautiful planet and can see all these other expressions of 'source' energy that are all unique in their own expression of 'life' or existence. To be open to what comes next, knowing it is all perfect, (you) will never get it done and there is nowhere to get. Enjoy!!!!

Great quote and pic by 'Rasha'

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